The Question of Faith
By Meli’sa-Kaye Robotham
There are times I allow myself to think, hope, and dream strictly within the confines of my limitations. These limitations determine: which areas of study I can pursue, what I can afford, which jobs I can consider, where I can live, etc. It would be imprudent to disregard these restrictions. It's reasonable to operate within our limitations. It requires so much to work hard, sacrifice, earnestly pray, all towards a specific outcome which may never be realised. It has become more obvious to me that instead of asking, “Why not?”, the question I often ask myself is, “How can I possibly?”
But then, I also think, "Where is my faith?" Shouldn’t I possess faith which can remove great obstacles? Haven't I been advised against doubting? In fact, I have been reassured that my prayers will be answered, once I believe this (Mark 11: 22-24).
Nevertheless, the period of waiting and hoping remains remarkably difficult! I have even reached the point where I confronted God, “This is your moment to show yourself by removing all hindrances!” A recent conversation with my friend let me know that she’s had similar desperate moments, where she identified herself to God and then stated that it would have been good time to let her know what to do.
When you earnestly want something and you think you’ve done everything possible to achieve it, yet it remains unattainable, it hurts immensely. The fear of making a wrong decision, or that you've made the wrong choices all along can become overwhelming. While waiting, I frequently wonder if I am praying for the right things. “Is my will in line with God’s will?” Waiting often becomes an opportunity to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV).
Sadly, I have also discovered that while I may be hoping and praying for miracles, I’m not always prepared to follow through on what I believe. Occasionally there have been instances where my prayers were answered, and I suddenly became disappointed with myself. I subsequently perceived that I didn’t fully expect to receive the things for which I prayed. I had thought that the odds against me were too numerous. I realized that I didn’t want to appear silly, or lazy, and so I needed to have backup plans. I was trying desperately to figure everything out; to have all the right answers. I have observed that my faith wanes if I am asked a lot of questions. My doubts and fears resurface because I don’t always have specific answers regarding the future. I then attempt to discern whether I’m being idealistic and foolish, or if I’m truly acting on my faith.
I urge you to consider the following questions.
- Do we dare to act on the faith we claim to possess?
- Do we wait expectantly or doubtfully?
- Are we able to determine if our will is in line with God’s?